Thursday, October 7, 2010

{behind door number three}

Well, it seems God has made up His mind.

Monday afternoon, the little man and I headed to the cranio-facial surgeon. He pulled out his Baby Jesus routine and was a total charmer the whole time, even though he didn't take an afternoon nap. I mean, he's just so dreamy.

In the waiting room, there were three other babies all waiting to see the same doctor for the same reason. Ave was sitting in my lap, really showing off his Baby Boot Camp skills, while the other babies sat snug in their car seats. One of the other mom's said, "Wow, he's sitting up really well. How old is he?"

I replied (very humbly, of course), "Oh, he's only 5 months."

Show off.

The panty hose scan turned out to be a breeze: it ended up being more doo-rag than ski-mask. He looked like a little Snoop Dog. I asked the tech if I could take a picture, and she just lowered her eyebrows at me. She must not be a mother.

The doctor came in and said, "Well, he definitely needs a helmet."

Alright. We're ok. I was ready for this. 

" He will probably need to wear it for 23 hours a day, for four to six months, starting next week."

What the $#*%@(^#.

What's really lame about the whole thing is that usually we would get to pick out a sweet pattern for his helmet, like racing stripes or flames or spaceships. Since Ave has a shunt, his helmet has to be clear to make sure there isn't too much pressure on his shunt. The nurse tried to console me by saying, "Well, you could put some stickers on the front." Not helping here, lady.

We are still waiting on our insurance company to process all the paperwork, but so far it looks like the odds are really in our favor for his helmet being covered. For one, insurance usually requires a baby to have 8 weeks of physical therapy to try to correct the plagiocephaly before trying the helmet, and Ave has already completed that. Secondly, the measurements from the scan were all on the higher end of normal or in the extremes; meaning that the helmet is definitely medically necessary. Fingers crossed.

So, for now, it looks like God has chosen Door #3: the babe has a bad enough case of hacky sack head that insurance is probably going to cover most, if not all, of the cost. We pick up his fancy new gear next Wednesday, and then we will be going back every 2 weeks for adjustments.

99.9% of the day I'm doing just fine with it. I know it is temporary, I know it will be such a blessing in the long run, I know this is just another perfectly tailored answer to prayer. The other .1% of the day I can't believe that this beautiful baby is going to have a plastic helmet on for his first Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that he won't be able to wear the hats I knit him for this winter. Meaningless stuff in the long run, but in the moment it just seems like the weight of the world.

 I find myself holding Avram a little more this week; sneaking in during his naps just to pick him up, snuggle him, and cover his head in kisses.


Netta said...

You are honest, but the faith & hope still spills
out all over your post!
I love you.
Thank you for letting us share this journey
with you!

drini said...

Cassie,I love your courage,that to me is the sign of being a mom. This faith journey that you and I are on is just the begining. Right now we are standing, believing for there health, later, we will be praying for there safety as they are traveling the world, changing lives, reaching the unreached. Right now God is building you, raising you up to be a praying mom, later He will you use you as a force to pray for that mighty man of valor, you will be the voice of wisdom he will run to. Stand strong my girl, this is the begining of a long but most incredible journey. Those He calls,He equips!!

Anonymous said...

That brought tears to my eyes cassie. I know the feeling when your baby is sitting up at 5 months and other mothers stare in awe :) feels good. Its ok to hurt when you know your baby has to wear a helmet or when the doctors give you bad news at a visit. You will get thru this. And I have been thinking all night about this. You are the MOST godly and caring women I have EVER known. I do believe God has given you such a precious boy, even with obstacles, for a reason. Stay strong. I am praying for u and Avram. :)


Gail said...

Oh Cassie....bless your heart. I can't get over how precious your little man looks here. I know this isn't going to be an easy few months, but think about how cute his perfect little head is going to look in a baseball cap this spring.

And you guys should do a Christmas in July -- just for a few photos of him with some presents sans helmet you know?

I know you'll find ways to keep the optimism up. :)

Anonymous said...

Cass :) You are such a good little mama and Ave is and going to be such a stud! So wearing a helmet might not be the coolest thing on the block.. but if anyone is going to pull it of it's Ave :)He rocks and he will fly through the next six months in no time. Sending lot's of love too all three of you <3-Stephanie

Brother said...

I love that big happy head.

Jenny Getts said...

I'm shocked with your optimism, hope, courage, and motherhood. Only a mother like you would have the courage to do what's best for your Avram even though it may not be very convenient for you and jason at this time. I know for a fact that this little stud is the best stud muffin around since.. not many babies are so awesome that they get pretty cool helmets! Call him privelaged :)

Jama said...

Uh ok, person above me... if yo want to go around slingin' the "B" word you need to go get a mirror and read what you just said to yourself and see what amazing conclusions you come to. Being an ass isn't a real job either so back up.
Now, as for you my precious Cass ;) You are amazing and I am humbled to read about your journey with little Ave. You are his hero, do you know that? I hope you do. AND he is darling and looks like his Daddy :) Helmet or not, that fact won't change. Stand, and when all else fails. Stand. xoxxo Mama J'