Monday, March 14, 2011

{waiting for morning}

Last week was rough.

It wasn't like one big thing dropped, but a lot of tiny things piled up until I just couldn't see the sky anymore. It's always an adjustment coming back to Chicago after traveling, and then Avram had his tiny seizure on Wednesday morning. Then he had night terrors. Every. Single. Night.

Shooting out of bed to the sound of my ten-month-old is screaming at two in the morning probably tops the list of Least Favorite Ways to Wake Up.

As she has many times, my mom came to the rescue this weekend and took care of the little buddy so J & I could get out of the house and breathe for awhile. Having that time to ourselves this weekend has just made the start of this week so much easier.

Last night we only had one night terror episode, a vast improvement from the 4-5 he's been having each night. Going in to soothe him during one of these episodes is just down right bizarre. He's screaming at the top of his lungs, but he's still asleep. Waking him up only startles him more, so we're supposed to just make sure he doesn't hurt himself and gently rub his back. It's hard to imagine someone still sleeping while crying loud enough to probably wake up everyone in our building, but he does. And it's not like he cries for five or six minutes, it's usually 15 or 20. So weird.

Supposedly he might have them for a week or so and then stop. Fingers & toes crossed on that one.

What is possibly even more amazing that Avram's ability to sleep through his screams is that he is still his happy, charming little self during the day. His favorite "toy" right now is his box of wipes. He has figured out how to open up the top and pull out the wipes one by one.

So, this morning, he had pulled out a wipe and started to chew on it.

I said, "No." and gently pulled his hands from his mouth. He smiled, then started to eat the wipe again.


Smile, eat.


Smile, giggle, eat.


Belly laugh.

This tiny man is definitely going to give me a run for my money.

I am just amazed that he can have such a rough night and then be so happy during the day. Lately it seems that just one foul play will mess me up for days. Maybe I've gone soft, maybe I'm letting the Bad things win, maybe I just need a good kick in the pants. Whatever it is, I'm a little grateful for the Night Terrors this week. Because no matter how fear-filled or restless Avram's nights are, his days are always overflowing with joy.

No matter how dark the night, morning always comes.

No matter how dark the night, the light is always brighter.

Maybe I just needed to be reminded of that this week.

"Still, if you set your heart on God and reach out to Him, if you scrub your hands of sin & refuse to entertain evil, you'll be able to face the world unashamed and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.

You'll forget your troubles; they'll be like old, faded photographs. Your world will be washed in sunshine, every shadow dispersed by dayspring.

Full of hope, you'll relax, confident again; you'll look around, sit back, and take it easy."

Job 11:12-18, The Message


Gail said...

BEAUTIFUL Cassie...and I'll cross every appendage too in the hopes that your little man's night tremors go away soon!

Jason Beer said...

i love the verse, especially the last two lines. I think buddy instinctively lives those out - maxin and relaxin, eating everything he can get his hands on, laughing the day away, loving life.

love ya babe; great weekend with you!